Does that Tuesday evening in Estoril three years ago when you almost quit tennis feel distant now…
That evening was difficult, it was emotional.I walked all over the town and down that beautiful Riviera. I was at a place in my head where I was very close to stopping that passion I had pursued all my life because I hadn’t won a match in four months. I was alone. No coach, no physio, no anyone. I started talking to myself. I was saying maybe this is the end of my tennis career. Slowly I started saying it all out loud. The truth was coming out, the disappointment…the difficulty. I had kept it all inside of me, never spoken to anyone about it. Speaking about it, even to myself made a difference. Later that week, I went to Madrid for the next tournament and ended up winning my first match of the year, after seven straight losses. After that I told myself I may be at the end of the road, but as long as the season (2021) lasts, I have to enjoy myself and not really worry about results. I was playing with Denis Shapovalov in Madrid, he’s a dear, dear friend of mine. I told myself, let’s just go out there and have fun, just two friends, who hit the ball real big. By the end of 2021, I was still ranked in the 40s, and that gave me hope for 2022. Then I made the semis at Roland Garros (2022) with Matwe Middelkoop and just like that the doubts faded away.
What have you learnt about yourself in the last 24 months?
Never ever doubt yourself or limit yourself. That was the change that happened inside me, it happened organically. I’m happy with the way I’m competing and playing. That’s the attitude, the joy that I take with me to the tennis court every day. Happiness is a choice.
How long did it take for you to get over the US Open loss?
It was extremely difficult. I felt two very different emotions — I was two different players, in 2010 when I made my first final and ten years later, when I made my second in 2023. I served and volleyed in 2010, while in 2023 I didn’t serve and volley; I had a more all-round game. I answered with the same name, but I had two very different styles of playing. I had to adapt to the style of tennis that is played today and find a way where I could improve. It took me that long to make another final and, of course, that loss was emotional, especially after we (Matt Ebden) had won the first set and were playing good tennis. I was extremely disappointed to have lost that final, but overall very satisfied to have won a men’s doubles Grand Slam. That I put myself out there is a victory by itself.
Are you mindful of age?
I’m mindful of what I can and cannot do because of my age in terms of training, and how much I can push myself physically. I listen to my body. I understand myself better. All the young players are pushing themselves hard in the gym, that’s not for me. Those days are gone. My training is very different, and recovery is super important. I have had ice baths every single day I’ve been here in Australia.
What have you changed in your training?
I told my physio Rebecca Van Orshaegen what I needed because I have no cartilage in my knees. It has completely worn out. I needed to strengthen my quads, hamstrings and glutes because maybe then I won’t have pain at least while playing matches. If I’m not 100% fit at practice, that’s fine. I want to feel 100% during matches. Also, yoga not only strengthened my body, but also made me calmer and focus better on the tennis court. I don’t feel rushed. When I take up a challenge, I try to persevere.
By 2021, you had already achieved a lot in tennis, and you have a lovely family, why did you keep going?
I didn’t really have a reason to stop. As long as I wasn’t a journeyman, and I was still competing and winning titles there was no reason to stop. In 2019, Supriya and I had our daughter and I told myself if Tridha could watch me play live that would be great! Now she’s watching me play! I didn’t have a timeline and I wasn’t playing by the clock. Everything is a personal goal; it is not anyone else’s goal. Lots of people want you to do lots of things, but at the end of the day, it’s up to you. It’s your road, your choice, your sweat.
