In 1991 filmmaker Rajiv Rai was married to actress Sonam. In 2016 they were divorced. They are still in touch over the parenting their son. Speaking on his marriage Rajiv says, “I don’t talk about my marriage. I have never spoken but since you’re a friend of mine and I trust you a hundred percent, I’ll say a few words and that is, I don’t think it’s right to say the marriage failed. See failure and success is part of your life and everybody fails, and everybody finds success. So say my marriage didn’t work and for whatever reason it could be and sometimes the reasons are confusing and you’re not able to point them out for whatever reason.”
Tridev, Yudh, Mohra, Gupt director Rajiv Rai opens his heart on his marriage to actress Sonam
Continuing he adds, “It lasted twenty-eight years and let me tell you we never fought. We never quarrelled. There was no never any disagreement, but for some very odd reason unknown to both of us, we parted ways and I’m not lying really unknown and it’s very hard to convince anyone that a marriage failed because it was so-and-so’s fault, mine or hers….No, it wasn’t that and people will not agree with a marriage failure, even though many marriages are failing today, but people don’t like that concept of breaking a marriage and people don’t respect that and I do not like to set an example of a failure marriage and that it is right. It is not right, and I do not recommend people breaking the marriages. You have to think very hard. But it still does happen is beyond your control. And so mine was a beautiful marriage. Sonam is a beautiful person. I’m very fond of her. There’s never any problem. She’s a good soul. Yes, I’ve always been in touch and I’m best friends with her. Now this sounds very politically correct and diplomatic. But it’s true and I’m best friends with her. I don’t let people know this and we are friends, and we have an attachment. It may not be a marital attachment, but you know, you become friends over the years and it’s very hard to make that friendship. And you sometimes wonder why do marriages break? Why did your marriage break when you look back you say was it necessary should it have happened? There is no real answer. This is life. This is destiny. You have to accept it and I am in touch. We are both parenting a child and we try our best and we try to be on the same page with him and we try to coordinate, and she still doesn’t argue too much with me. She never has she will never she doesn’t even disagree too much with me. So, it’s like I have no reason for to say anything that’s negative or derogatory. Nothing. All I can say is it was all good and it is still good and that I wish her a good future. Sometimes you’re not meant to be together and I’m a well-wisher. She sometimes will give me advice and I will give her advice to help each other out and obviously our focus is very much on our son and that could be the reason that we are still close. I mean, I’m not saying that’s not the reason that could be but having said that if there was no kid, I still feel we would be friends and there wouldn’t be any problem.”
Rajiv turned 69 this month. Reflecting on his life so far, he says, “Everybody goes through tumultuous time. It’s I think true in this world for anybody who’s striving to make it big or is in a position of some kind of power or some kind of a status where he’s famous or if a person has a social sort of a standing or is known, it’s never going to be a bed of roses. I think I’ve been very lucky, and my journey has been excellent. I can’t complain because I’ve had everything and God has been kind. My parents were obviously my two pillars that gave me everything I wanted. I couldn’t have asked for more and to feel sorry or to feel or this should have happened. I should have got more, that’s being greedy. So, whatever is there you work your destiny out. There is a destiny you get and you have to work around it and you have to do your karmic actions well and you have to try and climb the ladder wherever it at whatever place you are in and try and go upwards and try and be honest sincere and truthful and also in the business we are in films behave professionally and be polite to everyone. The most important thing my father taught me is never lose your head. Never let ego come in front and the ego I think is a big problem. So, I don’t have a ego and if even if I do. I think I try to refrain from getting hurt or hurting people. So I look back with a lot of happiness.
Age is obviously a number, and you cannot de-age. You have to accept your age and you have to realize that if you only going to get older, you’re not going to get younger, and do you wish to get younger? Of course not. I mean the idea is to experience every year and the excitement of life and accept old age as a gift. I’m happy. I have…I feel that I managed to make some successful films. I managed to give out a few enduring songs. So between the hustle and bustle of the film industry there lakhs of people, hundreds and thousands of talented people in every field within Bollywood … to make a mark is not easy. But let me tell you it’s not difficult because thousands have made a mark in their own way. And the only way you feel let down or depressed is if you compare yourself with others. So I do not compare you have make your own identity. I have my own stamp. If I’m doing a certain kind of a film people should recognize the style that a director has and believes in and if that works you stick with that and don’t look at that other film or that another person… I wish I would have done that or I could do that better because you cannot do that better. It is obviously a very tough job. People know that and to make it watchable and successful is even tougher. So when you have had success, you cannot complain you have to thank everybody that has worked with you. Thank all your friends even thank your enemies that you don’t know. They must have instigated you in such a way challenged you and that’s what actually gets you where you are. And so you have to be grateful to the universe to God and you know, we’re all here and one day we all going to go that is the reality. So what’s the fuss? What are we fighting about? We’re not going to be here forever and whatever even if during my journey I had not seen success. I don’t think I would complain that’s not my temperament. I’m happy if I get a basic meal, it is very satisfactory for me and maybe a car to drive or you take the Uber or whatever that is there. It doesn’t really matter because how long is all this going to be when you in respect to when you look at the world and how old this universe is. So who are you within that mammoth Galaxy? So you have to realize that that whatever is there has to be appreciated. So yeah, my journey if anybody was to ask me has been fantastic. I’ve been happy. I’ve been blessed and God has been very kind and I always pray to God the shower this kindness to everyone and the world should be a happy place.”
Speaking of the slew of hits he has directed, Karan says, “It’s difficult to say which is my favourite because they all like in a way like your children that you love and you always like one film for something and another for something and another for something obviously. Yudh is very close to my heart. I went through a tough time making it but I was it was a good experience. I learned a lot my first film and today will always be the closest to me because it was my first success and so it has a special place Vishwa Atma also has a very unique place in my heart because I got the songs right and I introduced some nice people, and we shot it overseas. So it was an in very interesting kind of experience to go to Africa and foreign lands and shoot so that I also hold special respect and it was very successful as contrary to what people say so it was a successful film and it still is and so that was also a good one for me then Mohra was of course totally different to Yudh and Tridev and I had a kind of a newish star cast at that time . Suneel Shetty was always by my side, and he always lent me his shoulder and always was there in production and you know in with any problem for the film he took it as his own film as his own problem. So he’s been one of the most wonderful persons I’ve worked with I’ve never said this to him. So I’m probably saying this for the first time and now this happens when you recall everything you’ve done and you realize how easy it was to work with him and how much fun you will always crack jokes and he was so hard-working professional always on time and so devoted to the project he’s doing and a simpleton so he deserves everything he’s got. Gupt now that is my favourite film because I could do the music with Viju Shah that I wanted to do something different. I was doing commercial music, but I wanted a twist in the tale. I wanted to you know do music but maybe put my car in in fifth gear, you know in top gear where things were concerned. Maybe the subject was concerned the music the way I would shoot it.
I hadn’t really done love stories. I hadn’t really worked too much with female characterizations and also Bobby Deol is a dear friend like Sunil and he was wonderful to work with and no issues whatsoever and his passion was very different his way of working is different, but he’s a very simple and a sort of an innocent sort of a person very gullible, you know and sort of a guy and I like him very much for his personality. He’s not a complicated guy. He’s not conniving. He’s not, you know mischievous in that way that he will manipulate you in any way so he wasn’t sure about the film but I’m guessing Bobby was happy when the film did well and the music hit home. But we did do this film as friends and we like had a picnic doing it and it was like the film is special and very close to me.
And of course Sunny Deol in both the films. It was fantastic. Sunny has been in two of my most successful films and was a quiet person to work with. Very nice person, very, very humble and very sweet, always shy and affectionate and a person that I think I don’t know. I think not everybody can understand him, but I think he’s a fabulous human being and he’s still a friend of mine and I love meeting him like once a year, once in two years. And I never had differences with any actor ever. I’ve never had a conflict with anyone. So whoever I worked with has ended up being a friend of mine.”
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